Sometimes I just need some alone time, ....by myself listening to music, drinking tea and writting this blog that I dont care if i missed a period or commas or they are all grammatically wrong because i don't care no more to be perfect. I am tired of everything lately. People say this all because of SAD, seasonal affective disorder or i am pmsing. But I call this is a time for self-reflection. For the past 2 weeks, I have been feeling down and just depressed on things. everyone in the house thinks im so grumpy lately and started to asking me if anything wrong. well none of my closed friends know wut im doing...or if im emotionally stabled. even tho my friends have always been supportive, they think my sudden sadness come from that stupid asshole, but honestly, I dont even miss him that much (actually not at all), my life is normal everyday. now I am more into my family, studying and career. I see everyone has a dream and ambitious...and what am I doing here? I just come home from work and do nothing....wtf = =...and recently I just can't accept whatever ppl are telling me. you may call me a freak , selfish or w/e. whenever i hate someone...especially SOME ONE SHITTTY....I just cant change my perspective. sorry i cant...i know i have been making you feel sorry. but I just can't and accept the fact. well u might say im a psycho freak or a bitch. and maybe this whole entire shit has nothing to do with me. i mean i find it hard to accept it and i know im not your mom...maybe im too homesick and this whole coop experience is driving me crazy. BUT SORRY I WILL NOT WANT TO THAT SHIT IN MY LIFE. I AM SORRY!
now, i just don't want to associate with the world anymore. today i went with my team to curling, even i fell and had a big bruise on my right leg. but at least i felt like i was enjoying it and having tons of fun....i feel relieved and i love the ppl i work with. they are so nice. tonight my roomie is going to make a big dinner. i hope i feel free again and i am grateful to have my roomies here :)
tmr i will be going to the museum by myself. i think i need to have more alone time...i don't want to get back to the world yet. maybe give me more time in new year or something.
one says making yourself anti-social is like committing suicide....i don't think so. i don't know how long this thing is going to take, it might take forever.
who knows.....everything is unexpected.
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